Old Parents Planning - Part I

1. I am having trouble figuring out what to call this topic when one is dealing with their elderly parents so I am calling it Old Parents Planning. This can be confusing because adults having children at a later age could also be covered by this title.

I am talking about being a parent to one's parents as they begin to suffer the effects of old age and what can be done to make it easier for both parties with planning when age begins to impact everyone's lives. This is playing out in my life and my wife's as my parents and her mom are in their early 90s and mid 80s respectively.

Last week I did an estate planning workshop and my parents showed up to hear me speak. I was surprised because this is the first time they have heard me make a presentation of any form over my 33 year career. It was very helpful for them (and me) to be there because a couple topics in the workshop need their attention. I don't think I could have had this conversation directly with them so this indirect way through the workshop will hopefully help them and my two brothers with Parents Planning. We will see.

The two areas that most concern me in the estate planning area for my parents are (they have all their legal documents completed through estate planning attorney);

1. Communicating wishes to children; Keep the family involved during one's life so the children know what to expect when one dies. Don't keep the kids in the dark about what is important. Don't just leave it to reading of the will. Sit down with your children and talk about your wishes and desires so everyone understands. If this is not done there is potential for tearing the family apart. You would think this is an easy step but it is not. It takes a conscious effort of disclosing something to your family you might not want to do. Be open not secretive.


2. Get your information organized; Pull all your records together in one notebook or use computer software to organize and print out a hard copy. Include personal information, medical information, final arrangements, estate documents, financial documents, investments, personal possession and other pertinent information. This will help the children immensely especially as they are dealing with a parent that has just died or no longer can take care of their personal affairs. There is free software through T. Rowe Price that allows one to enter all relevant information using the computer. It is easy to use and update with no string attached. Make it easy on the survivors or the executor.

Doing these two things does not cost anything but your time. Take the time to make both of these two things a reality. Communicate and get organized.

Next week's comments will be on our health care system as experienced by wife's mother.